Somebody Stop Him!

Sometimes you just have to agree with Jacob to keep him quiet. Reasoning with him or trying to distract him may sometimes backfire and actually make the situation even worse. Here are two examples of how:

Mom, is that a tampon in your purse?
We were in line at the checkout counter one day and Jacob was going through my purse to find gum. I don't know what it is but Jacob had to make a scene out of it and talk undiscreetly in his 'outside' voice. It is not like he has never seen a tampon in my purse before.

He just blurted his inquiry out loud, "mom, is that a tampon in your purse?"

Just leave it alone and close my purse, look at this picture on this magazine, isn't that cool (in my attempt to distract him).

He left it alone for about a minute and then opened up my purse again and started rummaging through. He was successful in his expedition, pulled out his find, and waved the tampon in the air and proudly said, "see mom, I told you it was a tampon."

I just wanted to crawl under the counter and never show my face again at that store. I caught a glimpse of the male cashier's face getting red as he looked away into the distance. It was an overall uncomfortable experience for everyone in the immediate 4 ft. radius of the unmistakable sight of kid sitting in the shopping cart, holding up a tampon.


You look like Mr. Bean
It is bad enough to be put in an uncomfortable situation in front of strangers. It is even more mortifying to be in this type of situation in front of people who know you. Jacob used to go to the daycare at my work. Every morning before going to the daycare, we would go to one of the kitchens and have hot chocolate. He met a couple of the early birds who were delighted to see a lively little chatterbox of a kid at 6:30 in the morning, all perky and full of energy. Ben, one of the folks who works in the building, came into the kitchen as Jacob was sitting there drinking his hot chocolate. Ben cheerily said, "hi buddy, how are you doing?"

Jacob perked up and said to Ben, "hey, you look like Mr. Bean."

No response from Ben, he just continued to walk to the counter to get his coffee (I think he really meant to just ignore the boy and his insulting comment). I looked at Jacob with my wide eyes, trying to motion to him not say anything else.

"You look like Brad Pitt" is a comment that I can see someone welcoming to receive. "You look like Mr. Bean" on the other hand, may not be so pleasantly welcomed. Jacob looked at Ben and then at me and said to me, "Mom, he really does look like Mr. Bean." Ben was still there-- within earshot. Now what do you say to the guy in a situation like this? Is it better to acknowledge your kid's cheeky observation or is it better to just ignore it and pretend that you and the other person are completely deaf and unaware of what was just said? Thank goodness that I do not work in that same building and I don't have to show my face to the person everyday.

What makes it worse it that Jacob is very observant, which sometimes can be a really dangerous trait when combined with an also very vocal attribute. He sees a lot of things that people may otherwise have overlooked, and then he thunderously announces his observation that anyone in the room can hear. Refined, he is not. Discreet, he is neither. Jacob came into this world with an eye for detail and once he learned how to talk, there was no stopping the stream of potentially humiliating experiences for the people who are with him.