Extra! Extra! Hear all about it!

Kids are brutally honest. They have not been here in the world long enough to learn to censor things that they say. I adore this about them. They are so carefree and innocent. I get to experience the world of the 4 year olds everyday when I pick up Jacob from school. I just love being part of this interesting universe where they say what they mean and they mean what they say. Their worries in life are limited to what kinds of food their teacher is allowed to eat because she’s on a diet, or which friends didn’t share their toys or used their manners today, which made them very sad.

This innocence is quite interesting to observe, although it could be really bad news for parents if they don’t want their idiosyncrasies broadcasted for the rest of the daycare world. Over the past couple of weeks, I have learned about moms without manners, people’s rashes and ailments, and drunken parents- to name a few of the recent headlines. The thing about Jacob’s school is that it is a company managed daycare and attendance to the school is open only to company employees and their family. It is different when your kids go to a school where there are hundreds of kids and you are lucky if you know half of the parents in your kid’s class. But when your kid goes to a school where you work with most of the parents, the stories you hear about them become even more relevant.

Here are some of the fun stories from my little friends,

Where are your manners, mom?
Jacob shared with me how Isabel’s mom chews with her mouth open. Even though Isabel apparently told her mom that this was rude, mom continued to chew with her mouth open.

I was a little bit skeptical about this one because I know the mom, and she does not strike me as someone who chews with her mouth open. But this is what I heard from Jacob, who heard it from Isabel.

Family ailments
Bailee updated me on here family’s medical conditions one day. Her baby sister has been crying a lot because she was sick. Here mom had strep throat, but she feels better now because she took her medicine. Bailee also had a doctor’s appointment after school that day because she has itchies on her tummy. Then she proceeded to show me these itchies. Maura heard this and also told me that she has itchies too, but hers is all over her body. Then Maura showed me her itchies on her legs.

Jacob then joined in and said, “mom, you have itchies too, the ones all over your tummy.” Jacob also told his teacher about my itchy tummy problem the other day when I stopped by to drop something off. “My mom has itchies on her tummy, but she has cream for them.” - Okay, so I got this Rosea virus that made my skin itch, and I did get cream for the itchies, but it’s not something that I like to talk about with people.

So, if you have a 4 year old and you don’t want a lot of people knowing about your itchies, keep this a secret from your kids.

Mom’s favorite toy
Sydney loves her mom so much, she told me so. She said, “I just love my mommy so much.” That was so sweet. Out of the blue, she just tells me this, which I thought was so spontaneous and, well, loving of her. Also out of the blue, she told me that her mom didn’t like her red, squishy toy. Red, squishy toy? Hmm, interesting choice of toy, I guess. But all is well, because now, she likes her red, squishy toy again, according to Sydney.

Warning, alcohol can make you drowsy
I got to the classroom while the kids were sitting at the table, waiting for their afternoon snack. Sammy was slumped in his chair. I asked him what was wrong, “are you still tired after your nap?” I asked. Sammy said, “No, I’m just drunk, I had a lot of alcohol today.” I commented to one of the teachers that I see that they serve alcohol at preschool now. The teacher said that this seems to be the topic of conversation today, but it didn’t come from school and this alcohol business came from home. Sammy also told me that his mom likes to drink alcohol. That’s nice, I thought, a drunken mom who also just had a baby last month – interesting. I’m not sure where this notion about having alcohol all day and being drunk at school came from, but the really parents do not strike me as alcoholics.

Jacob then responded, “Hey, I drink alcohol too. Remember, mom, you give me alcohol?” Well, I hope that the teacher did not hear that one!

This was a bit of a misunderstanding, as much as I would like to mellow Jacob out; I do not give him alcohol. I was drinking a mild wine and Jacob kept bothering me to try it, so I let him have a little sip- definitely not enough to get him drunk or destroy his liver. I gave him a taste with the hope that he would think it was really nasty and stop bugging me. But, opposite of what I hoped for, Jacob thought the wine was actually really good. Now he is under the impression that not only that he drinks alcohol very frequently, but that I also give him alcohol all the time.