Today is one of those days where everything just irritates me (and it’s not PMS). I can’t find my happy place. It makes me mad even more because I know that it is all up to me to change my attitude. The power to choose; it’s our greatest gift but it may also be our biggest burden. I love my free will, but at the same time, I hate it because I’m basically on my own. I own every bit of responsibility on how I react to everything that happens to me- that sucks! Why is it such hard work to change the way we think? It’s easy to react to things- someone cuts you off on the road, you get angry; someone opens the door for you, you get happy- very easy. But choosing to not let things bother you when the world seems to be going against everything you want is not easy at all.
For example, I was already late getting out of the house yesterday. I get in the car and the warning light is on that the right rear tire is low on air. The temperature had dropped overnight due to the change in season. It was early in the morning and it takes John forever to get outside and check the tire. His air compressor was stuck behind a pile of wood in his truck and he didn’t have enough air to fill up all the tires to balance the pressure. 20 or so minutes later, I drove off all annoyed and stressed. I was late and I was bound to hit traffic. To top it off, Jacob just wanted to stay home (it was a Monday) and he was in a bad mood. Jacob was crying in the car. We also get stuck behind a Potty Queen tank truck almost the entire ride to work. It was probably only in my head, but my stomach was not fairing well because all I can think was breathing in port-a-potty sewage fumes as I follow the truck. The temperature had also dropped about 10 degrees from the weekend and Jacob and I were freezing because we didn’t have our coats and gloves with us. I wanted to just stay home and just forget about the whole day yesterday.
I don’t know what it was- manic Monday? It wasn’t even a full moon. Things were just wacky and the wackiness has continued to today. I want my free will to choose, but I wish it wasn’t up to me to change my attitude. Can’t I just have someone bless over me and exorcise this bad attitude out of me? Can’t I have my cake and eat it too? Just change the way I think- that’s easier said than done. I want to complain about everything! It’s more work to get myself a better attitude.
For example, I was already late getting out of the house yesterday. I get in the car and the warning light is on that the right rear tire is low on air. The temperature had dropped overnight due to the change in season. It was early in the morning and it takes John forever to get outside and check the tire. His air compressor was stuck behind a pile of wood in his truck and he didn’t have enough air to fill up all the tires to balance the pressure. 20 or so minutes later, I drove off all annoyed and stressed. I was late and I was bound to hit traffic. To top it off, Jacob just wanted to stay home (it was a Monday) and he was in a bad mood. Jacob was crying in the car. We also get stuck behind a Potty Queen tank truck almost the entire ride to work. It was probably only in my head, but my stomach was not fairing well because all I can think was breathing in port-a-potty sewage fumes as I follow the truck. The temperature had also dropped about 10 degrees from the weekend and Jacob and I were freezing because we didn’t have our coats and gloves with us. I wanted to just stay home and just forget about the whole day yesterday.
I don’t know what it was- manic Monday? It wasn’t even a full moon. Things were just wacky and the wackiness has continued to today. I want my free will to choose, but I wish it wasn’t up to me to change my attitude. Can’t I just have someone bless over me and exorcise this bad attitude out of me? Can’t I have my cake and eat it too? Just change the way I think- that’s easier said than done. I want to complain about everything! It’s more work to get myself a better attitude.
1 comment:
Sometimes, as simple as closing your eyes and breathing deeply can change your outlook, try it out Jie. ;)
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